I'm Scared of My X-Box 360

All my life I've been a fan of video games.....however I was one of those unlucky kids on the block. All my friends would play endless hours of Atari and would pretty much get my ass handed to me playing with them. My parents thought they were doing me a favor and bought me Coleco Vision. The only good game Coleco had was Donkey Kong and I would spend hours trying to save that ugly bitch princess from Kong. Granted Coleco had better graphics but Atari had the best games. Since everyone else had Atari.....no was really interested in playing Coleco.

When I went to college Nitendo was the system to have in your dorm room. I was much more interested in chasing girls and drinking.....preferrably at the same time than seperate. I didn't get caught up playing Nitendo but there was some fierce competition within my dorm to the point where fights broke out. Most gamers were interested in challenging one another to a sports type video game to win money or beer.

I pretty much left the video game scene unitl I got my first apartment. As a b-day gift my wife purchased me Play Station along with Mortal Combat. We spent endless hours together play.....and me kicking Mary's ass to the point where she didn't want to play anymore. I was a horrible winner. I remember her saying it I can't play nice then she didn't want to play anymore. She had a point but in my defense we were playing a game which consisted of 2 people fighting to the death. Now that you have been bored to death with where I fit into the home video game history.... I will get moving on my original intend of the post.

For my 35th b-day my wife went out and purchased me an X-Box 360 and HALO 3 game to go with it. I was originally upset with her for spending the money but then she told me the deal she got on the game and X-Box. She paid half what a normal shopper would so I felt a little better. I remember looking at the X-Box 360 an laughing to myself like a little devil. My wife was being loving and caring and wanted me to have something I wouldn't purchase for myself. She probably didn't realize the pain and suffering she would have to endure once I get the game up and running and the controller in hand. As soon as I began the game all I remember is hearing a voice call out like Charlie Brown's Mother in the Peanuts Cartoon. I became one with the game and slowly forgot my roll as a father, husband and care taker of several animals. I pretty much became useless to the real world but had a growing desire to become the best HALO 3 player in the world. God would have the last laugh in this story. For the next few nights I couldn't sleep.....I would have dreams/nightmares of the my Halo Enemies running me down within the HALO universe and, of course, I'm out of ammo. I felt it was time to give HALO a rest. My issues don't stop there.

I asked Mary to pick me up a XBOX 360 game at Blockbuster when she hits the movie store next. To no surprise Mary brings home one of the hotest games in the 360 world.... Bioshock. When I came home from work I couldn't wait to get through dinner to begin my quest in the Bioshock universe. The graphics and storyline was absolutely incredible.....but the game itself freaked me out. Its an under water city that went crazy in 1959. The game is very dark and you hear evil screaming, non stopvoices, and hystical women and children jump out of dark corners...... who are by the way.....totally insane.....and want to totally kill you and eat you too. Water is leaking out of walls, halls and tunnels.......each room has trails of blood and broken furniture. Everything about the game is truly art....but is way wrong. Its like your living in a really really really scary horror film. After a couple hours of play I had to turn the game off.....I'll admit it.....it totally freaked me out. I told Mary last night that the game was cool....but I don't think I can play it....too scary. She gave me that look....you know which one....."Your being a total pussy look". This morning she watched me package up the game, even though we have 4 days left on the rental, and put it in my car to be returned.

I'll be looking a new game...something like Gumpy and Pokey Adventure Game or something with Strawberry Shortcake?