The morning of Saturday 11/1 is still haunting me and a reality set in that I wasn't prepared for.
Our 12 year old Great Pyrenees Klondike was no longer mobile. For the last couple of years she needed help from time to time to get up to move from point A to point B. Once she was up she was always able to get on her way for dinner or to go in or outside the house. Friday into Saturday morning it was very clear that she could no longer stand, even with assistance. I struggled with how I was going to help move her around.......and it became clear....it was her time. I was hoping Mary would review the situation and find some remarkable way to help Klondike get better.
No dice....
My heart was broken at the very thought of having to put Klondike down. The funny thing about how I felt had very little to do with me but others around me. How was I going to explain this to Abby my 7 year old daughter? The poor kid at the age of 7has had to say goodbye to 2 dogs, 2 pet rats, 2 horses and the explanations on why some our cats decided to just not come home. On top of this Klondike's sister Aspen, litter mate, have never been apart. The imagines couldn't have been more heart breaking that morning...... Aspen sat next to her sister in the front lawn and nudged her with her nose as they sat together. Then she would pace the lawn and return to her side. The kids and Mary sat with Klondike in the lawn and gave her cookies and pets. Abby cried and still didn't quite understand why she had to leave us.
Mary got the kids and Aspen into the house. As I carried Klondike in my arms to the truck I could see Aspen running back in fourth in the bay window in a panic. Abby also found her way to the bay window and cried has she pressed her hand to the window yelling not to go. What have I done to my child...Fuck! I felt like the Grim Reaper.
Once Klondike was in the truck Abby came running out with a note for Klondike.......it said....I will love you forever and ever. (Fuck, this totally sucks.... and I couldn't react....it would have been worse for her). The next few hours at the Vets went as planned....she was the perfect dog even on her death bed.....I was a complete wreck. Not a train wreck but more like the space shuttle crashing into the earth from outer space
I went home after and feed Aspen anything she wanted in the fridge and snuggled with Abby for the rest of the day. Abby asked me the most unusal question.
Abby: Daddy?
Me: Yes peanut
Abby: What are we going to do with just one dog?
Me: (No response...the salesman could even come up with an answer...so I hugged her)
It's been almost a month and I still find myself looking for her inside and outside the house....only to figure out she is not longer with us. This morning I got up at 1am because I thought I heard Klondike barking and we left her outside.
I miss our dog.....To Live is to Love.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Cheers!!! The Sky is Falling!!!!
I'm feeling a little sore this week. Definately feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. My business relates to the market which was down 700 points on Monday and anther 300 Friday and down 400 today. The only folks making money this week is the package stores. People who don't drink will start this week for sure and those that drink will have more than usual. I hope they are good shoppers and buy their poison of choice on sale. I was thinking a little grain alchol and fruit punch.....I would, of course, drink it out of straw. What the hell....I'll cut up some Oranges as a Garnish.
I so haven't been able to sleep.....and end up falling asleep in the man chair. TV really sucks after 12. The only good news is the Red Sox are up 2-1 over the Angles. The extra innings last night almost killed me. I don't think falling asleep in front of the tube is healthy. Those early AM info commericals can do some much damage to the sub-concious. I a woke up the other day craving the need for a cloth shammy, a non-stick pan to cook muffins and a desire to fly a mini-remote control helicoptor.
I will usually wake up around 4ish an crall into bed. One night the, Spousal Unit, thought it would be funny to put on MAX After Dark and leave the volume on a much higher setting before heading to bed. I woke up hours later to BAD Soft Porn. There must be a market for this stuff but I'm not getting it. I wondered how one ends up in the soft porn industry......failed model....fitness trainer...stripper that wants to act....failed actor looking for a big break to be on the big screen. Who knows?
Funny Story: You know things are bad when.........
I was grabbing a little lunch a Panera Bread down the Gold Coast of CT. They were very busy, so busy that people stared sharing 4 tops and 2 tops so those eating in could sit. I ended up sitting at a four top with a retired man anxious to read his paper and a attractive txt happy 20 something year old. I was amuzed because they seemed annoyed with the very presence of each other. Everytime she got a txt message her phone sang, "Hurt Me Baby!" or "Do I Make U Horney!". I reconized both clips from a song or movie. He jumped from one side of the paper to the other in need to perfectly fold his paper so he could read an article using on hand. On top of the constant folding he sniffled and and cleared his throat often. She ended up winning their little battle with a phone call from a friend. She was complaining to her friend about all the things her "Man" doesn't do. I could faintly hear her friend sounding off about her "Man" as well. The retired man had enough and walked away shaking his head. She finished her conversation shortly after and then asked me what i did for a living. I gave her the 30 second commercial and then she asked me some questions regarding the current state of the market. I gave her some long explanation but if you read through the bullshit answer I pretty much said, "things suck" and "no one know what's going to happen". She added to my commentary by stated that business is down for everyone everywhere. I couldn't disagree. I finally got around to ask her what she did for a living. She laughed and told me she is a dancer. Not knowing what this exactly ment I asked her what production or performance she is currently involved in. She laughed even harder and said, I'm in the business of topless dancing and lap dances. I paused for a second, after hearing her response and asked her, "So, How is business?" She looked at me and asked if I was making fun of her. I said, "No, I'm dead serious. We both work in sales just different products". She went on to tell me that over the last month business has been slowest she has seen in 5 years. Everyone seems tight with the money, not as many lap dances or VIP dances. She has been working more shifts
Well antoher pointless blogger. Have a great day! I'm tempted to pretend like I'm in England on the drive home....and use my cell phone and blackberry at the same time.
I so haven't been able to sleep.....and end up falling asleep in the man chair. TV really sucks after 12. The only good news is the Red Sox are up 2-1 over the Angles. The extra innings last night almost killed me. I don't think falling asleep in front of the tube is healthy. Those early AM info commericals can do some much damage to the sub-concious. I a woke up the other day craving the need for a cloth shammy, a non-stick pan to cook muffins and a desire to fly a mini-remote control helicoptor.
I will usually wake up around 4ish an crall into bed. One night the, Spousal Unit, thought it would be funny to put on MAX After Dark and leave the volume on a much higher setting before heading to bed. I woke up hours later to BAD Soft Porn. There must be a market for this stuff but I'm not getting it. I wondered how one ends up in the soft porn industry......failed model....fitness trainer...stripper that wants to act....failed actor looking for a big break to be on the big screen. Who knows?
Funny Story: You know things are bad when.........
I was grabbing a little lunch a Panera Bread down the Gold Coast of CT. They were very busy, so busy that people stared sharing 4 tops and 2 tops so those eating in could sit. I ended up sitting at a four top with a retired man anxious to read his paper and a attractive txt happy 20 something year old. I was amuzed because they seemed annoyed with the very presence of each other. Everytime she got a txt message her phone sang, "Hurt Me Baby!" or "Do I Make U Horney!". I reconized both clips from a song or movie. He jumped from one side of the paper to the other in need to perfectly fold his paper so he could read an article using on hand. On top of the constant folding he sniffled and and cleared his throat often. She ended up winning their little battle with a phone call from a friend. She was complaining to her friend about all the things her "Man" doesn't do. I could faintly hear her friend sounding off about her "Man" as well. The retired man had enough and walked away shaking his head. She finished her conversation shortly after and then asked me what i did for a living. I gave her the 30 second commercial and then she asked me some questions regarding the current state of the market. I gave her some long explanation but if you read through the bullshit answer I pretty much said, "things suck" and "no one know what's going to happen". She added to my commentary by stated that business is down for everyone everywhere. I couldn't disagree. I finally got around to ask her what she did for a living. She laughed and told me she is a dancer. Not knowing what this exactly ment I asked her what production or performance she is currently involved in. She laughed even harder and said, I'm in the business of topless dancing and lap dances. I paused for a second, after hearing her response and asked her, "So, How is business?" She looked at me and asked if I was making fun of her. I said, "No, I'm dead serious. We both work in sales just different products". She went on to tell me that over the last month business has been slowest she has seen in 5 years. Everyone seems tight with the money, not as many lap dances or VIP dances. She has been working more shifts
Well antoher pointless blogger. Have a great day! I'm tempted to pretend like I'm in England on the drive home....and use my cell phone and blackberry at the same time.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Motivated or Inspired........
Last night after the munchkins were fast asleep I was doing some channel surfing. I must admit, if channel surfing was a sport; I would be in line to not only be a professional but close to championship status. lol. I guess that makes me a legend in my own mind.
I came across the movie, "Jerry Maguire". This move stars Tom Cruise as this sports agent that has everything, loses almost everything and ends up with the usual Hollywood bullshit happy ending. This was probably the last movie I enjoyed with Tom until he started jumping on couches and jamming scientology down everyone's throat. Renee Zellweger turned in a great performance with her natural beauty and good acting. Question: What happen to her lips after this movie? I could go on and on mentioning Cubing Gooding Jr, Kelly Preston, Jay Mohr, Jerry Connell and others....but if you want more go to IMDB or just rent the movie. This is definitely a "chick flick" but most men would enjoy it because it does revolve around sports. The acting and script are good and worth 2 hours of your time.
There was a part in the move that struck a cord, jolted a thought, and aroused a notion.
Jerry Maguire wanted more in life!!
How dare he..... He had money, an attractive sex machine women, a job that he was good at, power...and the list goes on and on. He was MOTIVATED to track down the greatest athletes and make them an icon in their respective sports. Jerry was motivated to be the best that he could be. For most of us in the world this would be a good place to end up in life. In the end this wasn't enough.....he wanted to be INSPIRED. He hated what he worked so hard to become. They used the word inspired 8 times during the course of the movie. What is inspired/inspiration.....the same as motivated....right? Since I'm a man of limited vocab I looked them up in the dictionary. The definitions are below.
Motivated - to provide with a motive or motives, incite, impel
Inspired - aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence
I laid back in my leather recliner and thought and thought and re-read the definitions and tried to recall a moment that I was truly inspired. I just came up with moments that I was determined and motivated.
What inspires me?
For once in my life I couldn't figure it out. I know what motivates me.....but I found myself at a loss being inspired. In some ways I feel numb or slighted that some DIVINE inspiration hasn't come over me. I started this blog a week ago and wanted to wait to see if by chance I could FIND Inspiration. Maybe it's having faith in something greater than you.....or having a clear vision regarding life or a task at hand. The answer is probably right in front of my eyes, but for some reason I can't see it.
In the end there needs to be some type of empowering connection.
Is falling in love inspirational?
Witnessing history an inspirational act?
Reading a book or viewing art an inspirational act?
Having faith in a higher or greater being (God)?
All probably yes.....but the individual moment of understanding and clarity is the part I would most like to be part of.
In the end inspiration is something you can't buy or steal, but seems more like a surprise gift that comes when you least expect it
I came across the movie, "Jerry Maguire". This move stars Tom Cruise as this sports agent that has everything, loses almost everything and ends up with the usual Hollywood bullshit happy ending. This was probably the last movie I enjoyed with Tom until he started jumping on couches and jamming scientology down everyone's throat. Renee Zellweger turned in a great performance with her natural beauty and good acting. Question: What happen to her lips after this movie? I could go on and on mentioning Cubing Gooding Jr, Kelly Preston, Jay Mohr, Jerry Connell and others....but if you want more go to IMDB or just rent the movie. This is definitely a "chick flick" but most men would enjoy it because it does revolve around sports. The acting and script are good and worth 2 hours of your time.
There was a part in the move that struck a cord, jolted a thought, and aroused a notion.
Jerry Maguire wanted more in life!!
How dare he..... He had money, an attractive sex machine women, a job that he was good at, power...and the list goes on and on. He was MOTIVATED to track down the greatest athletes and make them an icon in their respective sports. Jerry was motivated to be the best that he could be. For most of us in the world this would be a good place to end up in life. In the end this wasn't enough.....he wanted to be INSPIRED. He hated what he worked so hard to become. They used the word inspired 8 times during the course of the movie. What is inspired/inspiration.....the same as motivated....right? Since I'm a man of limited vocab I looked them up in the dictionary. The definitions are below.
Motivated - to provide with a motive or motives, incite, impel
Inspired - aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence
I laid back in my leather recliner and thought and thought and re-read the definitions and tried to recall a moment that I was truly inspired. I just came up with moments that I was determined and motivated.
What inspires me?
For once in my life I couldn't figure it out. I know what motivates me.....but I found myself at a loss being inspired. In some ways I feel numb or slighted that some DIVINE inspiration hasn't come over me. I started this blog a week ago and wanted to wait to see if by chance I could FIND Inspiration. Maybe it's having faith in something greater than you.....or having a clear vision regarding life or a task at hand. The answer is probably right in front of my eyes, but for some reason I can't see it.
In the end there needs to be some type of empowering connection.
Is falling in love inspirational?
Witnessing history an inspirational act?
Reading a book or viewing art an inspirational act?
Having faith in a higher or greater being (God)?
All probably yes.....but the individual moment of understanding and clarity is the part I would most like to be part of.
In the end inspiration is something you can't buy or steal, but seems more like a surprise gift that comes when you least expect it
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Perfect Job for Me.............
I'm so happy to be back to blogging again....
Life gets busy and takes you away from the little joys in life.
DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD........my on going battle with the highways and byways of the Northeast......my mind starts to wonder and goes to the place know as........What if? or What would it be like if? Typical day dreaming for any traveling sales person.
Today happen to be one of those days that I do not wish to repeat. So, if I was single and didn't have a care in the world.....what would I do for a living.
1) Vidoe Game Tester - Come on!! I would be able to play some of the best video games in the world, maybe have imput to make them better......and get paid for it. I imagine a little travel to video game conferences in Vegas, New York and California would only be a bonus.
2) Sales Clerk at Victoria Secret - Be the source of advice for that woman looking to add that something special to her evening collection to feel sexy and make her man (or woman) desire her more. I imagine this roll would come with many benefits. My only wish would be to build the type of relationship where she could share, in detail, how her evening went.....strickly on a profesional and informational basis.
3) Move Critic - watching movies is kind of my thing. Now I get to see them before everyone else, for free, and get paid. It would be kind of cool to be a center of influence to consumers on wether or not they should see it in the theater or wait for the rental. If we could tie in meeting some actors, directors and producers.....this would be 2 thumbs up.
4) Professor at University/College - First off, I think teaching at the college level would be a lot of fun. Helping give your students the tools they need before entering the real work force would be challenging. Sales and Marketing would be the only topics I could add any value to students these days. I would do everything in my power to take the real world and bringing it into the classroom.
5) Women's USA Olympic Volleyball Coach. - I have a passion for the game of volleyball. So coaching tall beautiful women to play the game to perfection.....why not! It may sound shallow but this is all make believe.
6) Chef at my own Resturant - I could create a menu and enviorment that would allow people to take a break from reality and enjoy the company of others. I've been in the resturant business and I would love to do it my way. It would be cool to create something special which you could share with others.
OK Dream over........... Who am I kidding. I just need to win the lottery and I'm sure I could find away to try out each job....
Have a good night all.
Life gets busy and takes you away from the little joys in life.
DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD........my on going battle with the highways and byways of the Northeast......my mind starts to wonder and goes to the place know as........What if? or What would it be like if? Typical day dreaming for any traveling sales person.
Today happen to be one of those days that I do not wish to repeat. So, if I was single and didn't have a care in the world.....what would I do for a living.
1) Vidoe Game Tester - Come on!! I would be able to play some of the best video games in the world, maybe have imput to make them better......and get paid for it. I imagine a little travel to video game conferences in Vegas, New York and California would only be a bonus.
2) Sales Clerk at Victoria Secret - Be the source of advice for that woman looking to add that something special to her evening collection to feel sexy and make her man (or woman) desire her more. I imagine this roll would come with many benefits. My only wish would be to build the type of relationship where she could share, in detail, how her evening went.....strickly on a profesional and informational basis.
3) Move Critic - watching movies is kind of my thing. Now I get to see them before everyone else, for free, and get paid. It would be kind of cool to be a center of influence to consumers on wether or not they should see it in the theater or wait for the rental. If we could tie in meeting some actors, directors and producers.....this would be 2 thumbs up.
4) Professor at University/College - First off, I think teaching at the college level would be a lot of fun. Helping give your students the tools they need before entering the real work force would be challenging. Sales and Marketing would be the only topics I could add any value to students these days. I would do everything in my power to take the real world and bringing it into the classroom.
5) Women's USA Olympic Volleyball Coach. - I have a passion for the game of volleyball. So coaching tall beautiful women to play the game to perfection.....why not! It may sound shallow but this is all make believe.
6) Chef at my own Resturant - I could create a menu and enviorment that would allow people to take a break from reality and enjoy the company of others. I've been in the resturant business and I would love to do it my way. It would be cool to create something special which you could share with others.
OK Dream over........... Who am I kidding. I just need to win the lottery and I'm sure I could find away to try out each job....
Have a good night all.
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