Klondike my Love....We will miss you

The morning of Saturday 11/1 is still haunting me and a reality set in that I wasn't prepared for.

Our 12 year old Great Pyrenees Klondike was no longer mobile. For the last couple of years she needed help from time to time to get up to move from point A to point B. Once she was up she was always able to get on her way for dinner or to go in or outside the house. Friday into Saturday morning it was very clear that she could no longer stand, even with assistance. I struggled with how I was going to help move her around.......and it became clear....it was her time. I was hoping Mary would review the situation and find some remarkable way to help Klondike get better.

No dice....

My heart was broken at the very thought of having to put Klondike down. The funny thing about how I felt had very little to do with me but others around me. How was I going to explain this to Abby my 7 year old daughter? The poor kid at the age of 7has had to say goodbye to 2 dogs, 2 pet rats, 2 horses and the explanations on why some our cats decided to just not come home. On top of this Klondike's sister Aspen, litter mate, have never been apart. The imagines couldn't have been more heart breaking that morning...... Aspen sat next to her sister in the front lawn and nudged her with her nose as they sat together. Then she would pace the lawn and return to her side. The kids and Mary sat with Klondike in the lawn and gave her cookies and pets. Abby cried and still didn't quite understand why she had to leave us.

Mary got the kids and Aspen into the house. As I carried Klondike in my arms to the truck I could see Aspen running back in fourth in the bay window in a panic. Abby also found her way to the bay window and cried has she pressed her hand to the window yelling not to go. What have I done to my child...Fuck! I felt like the Grim Reaper.

Once Klondike was in the truck Abby came running out with a note for Klondike.......it said....I will love you forever and ever. (Fuck, this totally sucks.... and I couldn't react....it would have been worse for her). The next few hours at the Vets went as planned....she was the perfect dog even on her death bed.....I was a complete wreck. Not a train wreck but more like the space shuttle crashing into the earth from outer space

I went home after and feed Aspen anything she wanted in the fridge and snuggled with Abby for the rest of the day. Abby asked me the most unusal question.

Abby: Daddy?
Me: Yes peanut
Abby: What are we going to do with just one dog?
Me: (No response...the salesman could even come up with an answer...so I hugged her)

It's been almost a month and I still find myself looking for her inside and outside the house....only to figure out she is not longer with us. This morning I got up at 1am because I thought I heard Klondike barking and we left her outside.

I miss our dog.....To Live is to Love.