Exporting Call Centers - Who was the Genius that Thought of This?

Everyone can ignore my comments in my last blog about being more positive. Its official....after further reflection it’s not in my nature to be one of those happy go luck, passive type of fellows. Lets face it....I could never be a Jedi....but definitely a Sith Lord. I ran across a web site that asked you questions to determine if you would be a Jedi or a Sith Lord. Mine came back with a 98% rating as Sith Lord. lol

Moving On......

I have a total beef with Corporate America. Over the last couple of weeks I have had three separate issues that required me to call a "Customer Service Department". The experience for each has been extremely frustrating.

First Up...

AMERICAN EAGLE FEDERAL CREDIT UNION

I made the genius move of losing my check card somewhere. In turn, I call the credit union and reported the debit card lost. The rep on the phone was very nice and even told me that this has happened to her in the effort to make me feel better. Then she told me that she needs to transfer me to the Check/Credit Card Department so they can arrange for me to get new cards. The next thing I know I'm on the phone with a guy with a heavy Indian accent. I have no problem with Indian people at all. I have met some wonderful Indian families. My personal experiences have led me to believe that within their culture they are focused on family, education and establishing gainful employment. As I am on the phone I relay all the information to verify who I am and what account I need a new card for. I happen to have 4 different accounts with the credit union. A personal checking account, business checking account, joint saving account w/ Abby and credit card account. First he tried to cancel my credit card, and then he tried to cancel my check cards for my business accounts. How hard could this be? I gave him the exact info he needed. He put me on hold 3 separate times to speak with his supervisor. The annoying part is he made me verify who I was 3 separate times....same freaking questions over and over and over again. After a 45 min conversation on the phone he informed me that my new cards would show up in 7-10 business days. My cards arrive 10 business days later and I call to activate them. I reach a women with a heavy Indian accent...she verifies who I am. I asked her a couple of times if I use my same pin number....and she informs me that everything should be the same. I place my card in my wallet and hand Mary her new card. The next day Mary calls me from the check out line at the grocery store indicating the card is not valid. This time I call the credit union directly and they told me that we have new pin numbers for both the cards that usually show up a week after we get the cards. Great....this would have been helpful to know during all our conversations. I double checked the letter that came with the card.....Nada. The good news is we have the option to use the cards as credit cards or debit cards.

CHARTER COMMUNICATION CABLE COMPANY

It was Saturday afternoon and I receive a call from Charter Communications about a special they are running on their cable services. Earlier this year, I consolidated my home phone, home fax, cable, and high speed internet all over to Charter. I was saving about $65 a month having everything with Charter and I picked up unlimited long distance and free voice mail. The women on the other end of the line was reading off some script in front of her and was difficult to understand due to her heavy Indian accent. I had no idea what she was trying to offer me so I tried to simplify the conversation. OK....This is what I am paying. I currently have these services with you. What can you offer me that would give me more for less? A half an hour later and being placed on hold a couple of times they were able to offer me more cable channels and a faster internet connection for 35 dollars less than what I was paying. Then she made me run around the house for 20minutes connecting, disconnecting then plugging and unplugging the cable modem and cable box. After this she total me that she needed a tech to get into the house on 28th to finish the adjustments. The night before the 28th Mary gets the automated call that they will be coming out to the house between 8am and 1pm. Mary wasn't happy about being trapped in the house and just hoped they would arrive sooner rather than later. 1 O’clock rolls around and she calls the Cable company to find out what the deal is....I have a slang word I look to use in these situations.....find out what the dealio is. Mary ends up speaking with someone from one of the local offices. Come to find out there was no need for the tech to come in, around or near the house. All the changes were done automatically. With a baby in one hand she runs around the house connecting, disconnecting, plugging and unplugging the cable modem and cable box. Gees, didn't we all ready do this. Then I get a call from Mary somewhat annoyed with how everything was handled. You are so mistaken if you think the story ends soon....lol. The next morning I get up make coffee, feed all the pets and turn on my computer to check my e-mail. Go figure no internet connection. What the F**K!!!! I reboot the cable modem, wireless internet and the computers. No go....F**K!!!!! I call the internet division of the cable company and get this new automated system. Hot voiced computer chick asks me questions, makes me reset the modem. We must have gone through 6 different tests. Then she determines I need to speak with an actual person and transfers me. Sure enough on the other end of the phone is an Indian fellow with a heavy accent. He makes me verify all over again who I am and pretty much has the personality of a rock in a rock garden. Then we continue to turn shit on and off and on and off. What the f**k this must magically change something. The he puts me on hold for 10 minutes so he can go speak with his supervisor. My ass....he went to take a piss or smoke a cigarette. Then he gets on the phone and instructs me that he can have a tech out in a few days to change up the modem or I can go to the local office and switch the one I have for a new one. So I went down to the office in Willimantic and waited in line with 10 people. It seemed like everyone in line had their cable turned off because they owed money. Great!!!! Even better is they had this TV in the lobby that showed waves crashing on a beach over and over and over. They were attempting to show how clear the HD TV with an HD Cable box looked. News Flash....the clarity looked like shit....and after standing watching and listen to your little display for 20 minutes all I wanted to do is take a piss. I swapped the cable modems and guess what.....I can only get a connection when I connect directly to my PC. It won't work using my wireless network. I'm now going to my last resort and calling my IT buddy to help me. So....I pray he can help me and I don't need to call Charter again.

I have one more story....but what is the point.... I think everyone gets my point. I respect the fact that these corporations are trying to save money by farming out certain services. The one problem I have is........it isn't working!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When consumers call customer service departments for the most part have a problem....so they usually aren't the happiest people in the world. So some genius out there said....hey here is a good idea....lets hire some people from another country who have learned English as a 2nd language and create a call customer service center. It can be difficult enough to work through a problem.... having a cultural and language barrier only makes it worse. The training needs to vastly improve or companies need to reconsider farming out calls centers. How can they be saving any money if their phone reps take twice the amount of time to handle problems mostly due to communication issues? I didn't put this blog together just because of my recent issues. Over the last couple of years I have heard similar stories from family, friend and business associates. I now know how they feel.

I think this issue will hit home when On Star farms out their call center and some of these board members and executives walk a mile in my (our) shoes.

Out with the Negative in with the Positive

It has been a while since I posted a new piece to read on my blog. I have a number of drafts on various topics but they seem so negative. For some reason I have a fear that I may offend someone. I usually fire up my PC and start writing if I'm stewing or bent about something. To give you an example the last 4 titles I have in draft land....

1) Customer Service & Speaking English for Dummies 10.1

2) Stress Brings Out the Rainman

3) How to Practice Doing Nothing and call it Art

4) Is there a difference Between Dungens & Dragons and Fantasy Football?

I have to dwell on this some more. I may just go the same route as the Cartoon TV Show Family Guy. If you watch this TV show then you know that they pick on everyone, everything, past, present and future.

Today the rest of this post will be about Happy and Positive Things or Just Things.

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

1) A Medium Size #9 Steak and Cheese at D'Angleo Sub Shop with the works....which includes hot peppers and mayo. Just thinking about it makes me so hungry

2) When your out at a local bar and the bart keep buys you a round of beers or shots. Free is Free and More is Better...makes ya feel loved.

3) Since were out drinking....a trip to Taco Bell at 1AM in the morning.

4) When your driving down the highway and someone is riding your bumper in the fast lane when your driving 70 MPH....you move over....they wiz by....then you see them get pull over by the police. Happiness is waving to them while they are parked on the side of the road.

5) Watching my wife put her contacts in first thing in the morning. When you really think about the act itself so doesn't make sense. Think about it....she can't see without her contacts.....so she is pretty much totally blind.... she needs to find away to get a little round clear wet plastic circle onto her finger and into her eye. Why does this make me happy. I totally appreciate not having to do that since I have above average vision. Added bonus...she drops one and needs your help to locate it.

6) When you are eating out and the wait staff packages up your food to go. When you later open the to go container and notice they included the original dip/sauce plate ware or containers. This stuff is great to add to your own casual dining set.

7) Purchasing an item at the store and they totally screwed up and ring the item up at some totally ridiculous low price. Then you quickly walk back to your car....drive away...laughing like a mad scientist all the way home. OK...the laughing is optional but it makes me feel good.

8) You have no money on you but you find a way to purchase a generous meal at McDonald with some of your car change. I don't know what it is but the value menu is the best marketing idea this decade.

9) Channel surfing and landing on one of the movie channels playing the Shawshank Redemption. I have only seen the movie 100 times....but for what ever reason I need watch the whole thing. I have this same issue with Knights Tale, Braveheart & King Authur (one with Clive Owen).

10) Walking into Borders or Barnes and Noble...finding a book/magizine/comic book of interest, read it and then leave. It seems like stealing but they even help me locate what ever item I want to read.

I have so many more....but this is good for now. Thanks for reading....comments alway appreciated.

Thank You....May I have Shoes for 100 Please

I'll start with shoes..... How many freaking shoes do we need? My wife was cleaning out the family shoe closet. I was in horror to see how many shoes we had and why. I made some silly flip man comment on why THEY needed all those shoes anyways. In turn, she took all my shoes placed them in a basket and pretty much told me to keep them, toss them or find a 2nd home for them in my own closet. This should be pretty easy...right...to my surprise it was a difficult process to go through. I suddenly realized I became a whore to the shoe industry. Let me take you through my shoe journey.

First UP.....

Black Leather Dress Shoes - OK...I need them 5 days a week for work. I always wear a black belt with my suit pants. They go in the keep and easy to access pile.

Nike Running Shoe - OK...I use them at the gym (when I go) and for volleyball once a week. Preferred shoe, to go with, when running with the family and kids on a good weather day. They go in the keep and easy to access pile.

Reddish/Brown Casual Dress Shoe - OK...The shoe that goes with a pair of Dockers....kind of the casual night out. Need for the away business trip that is business casual. The shoe of choice when attending Church. Keep in closet but in the second row.

Brown Crocs - Ok...summer is over so these should be put away until spring. I kind of like to use them as easy to slip on and run out to the mailbox, find the dogs outside or need to get something in the car kind of shoe. Total Lazy man shoe...no need to tie. Put them back in shoe closet by front door.

Leather Jesus Sandals - Ok... Summer is over and these need to go away until the summer. These are a must keep because they are so comfortable. Plus, if it’s a hot day they don't make your feet sweat as much as the Croc. Retire them in the closet for spring time.

Replaced Nike Sneaker - OK....Was once a great sneaker but was replaced with a newer model. Has a new role as the lawn shoe. Poor shoe looks all green and brown from laboring on the lawn. I need to keep these around until the snow comes or retire from lawn duty. Put them back in shoe closet by front door.

All White Leather Sneaker - OK.....Need to put these in the trunk of my car....just in case I forget my sneakers for the gym or volleyball. Kind of "On The Road" back up pair. Great, for last minute boating and fishing with the Old Man.

Darth Daddy Nike Sneakers - OK...Gift from Mary and Abby from Christmas. They actually had them made for me on the Nike website. They look like sneakers Superman would wear....same colors. I will use this sneaker for Volleyball if we lose more than 3 games in a row. Kind of my back-up lucky shoe. Put them in my closet in an easily accessible spot.

Brown Timberland like Leather Shoe - OK...I call it the man shoe and the shoe that makes me a little taller. Kind of the go to shoe when wherein jeans and a flannel shirt. I also like to wear them when Mary decides to wear heels. Great all around shoe for bad weather. Put them back in the closet by the front door.

L.L. Bean Hard Sole Slipper - OK...I call these the slippers I can never find when I need them. I do find them usually on Mary's feet or under her side of the bed. I know....hide them in my closet so I use them when winter comes. A majority of my home is tile and hard woods floors and they keep the little piggies warm. It’s been so long I wouldn't know.....but they are mine know....my little precious slippers....precious.

Tan Tevas - OK....These are great to use at the pool, beach or a water park. Keep in my closet for next spring.

L.L. Bean Winter Boots - OK....Winter is around the corner and these are primo for walking in the snow. They also give you the extra traction when you’re hauling the kids back up the hill while sledding.....or de-icing the vehicles....or pushing your car out of the driveway. Such great memories!!!!!! Keep in the front closet

Brown Suede Slip on Shoes - OK....Gift from my brother a few years back. My wife has a matching pair too. I like to wear these when I'm feeling to fat to tie my own shoes. Slip on and off you go. Keep in my closet somewhere.

Wow!!!! You know what is sad. I didn't throw away one pair of shoes, sneakers, or boots. I found away to justify why I need each and every one of them. Now I know how a Sheik feels having all those wife’s

Its official.....I am a girl...or at least starting to act like one. This must be one of those tell tale signs I ran into a couple weeks ago. Is this normal or should I be worried. This is one of those Metro Sexual things. Yes? Maybe I should go shopping more often with my lady friends.....or guy friend that needs help. I'm so heading to the strip club after I finish this.....and not to try on shoes either.

Customer Service must be Engraved on my Forehead

Do you ever feel like the "Gods" are trying to tell you something? Does something happen to you on so often that you begin to wonder if the plan you put together for yourself is seriously flawed? After last week I'm really starting to wonder.

Most of my travel week consists of stringing meetings together and hopping from office park to office park. My clients are financial advisors and their clients. Most advisors would incorrectly refer to me as a wholesaler. Many of the day to day activities are the same but the one very big difference is I don't represent on particular product or company. I'm kind of one stop shopping for a whole breath of different financial products. Now that you are totally bored I will move on. For some reason I feel like I need to paint an occupational picture in order for this to all make sense.

The one great thing about traveling about daily is what you can get done in-between meetings. I can't tell you how many times my wife has called asking me pick something up or go on some trek on her behalf.

Spousal Unit: Hi Honey can you ......get milk, dog/cat food, cigarettes, stop into a store and exchange something, drop a check off, drop or pick up movies, and my favorite.....I found this place on the internet can you??????? I kind of become her only personally DHL (Designated Husband Lackey). Either you go or she goes when you get home. I find it easier to comply since I'm a master of locating and retrieving.

The things that use to drive me nuts are what happen to me during the work day going into these different stores. For some reason, no matter what store I'm in, other consumers always ask me for help in some way shape or form. I even had one employee ask if she could go on lunch break. I normally fancy a white shirt, tie and half a suit. When asked I use to laugh and then correct those needy consumers and direct them to the actual help. I'm tired, so as of late I've been taking the route of lease resistance. When someone asks me for help......that’s right....I help them. So as you can imagine this has lead to some great stories.....and I don't know where to begin....so I will just pick one. I was asked for help over the last 2 weeks in..... Verizon, Best Buy, Target, Borders Books, Pet Smart, Boston Market, Dick's Sporting Goods and the Glastonbury Town Library.

MY ADVENTURE AT NORDSTROMS

Some friends of ours purchased some beautiful baby gifts at Nordstrom’s for Evie. Unfortunately, the sizes were a little small and the items needed to be returned. I quickly volunteered to return the items. Mary always has a lot on her plate so I wanted to be helpful.....yeah right and I'll tell you another. Let me see....new baby + Mary Shopping at Nordstrom’s = More $$$ Spent that shouldn't be. I will admit Mary is wonderful about not spending $$$ when not needed. Lets face it.....Mary going to Nordstrom’s is like Anakin resisting the dark side.....and we all know how that worked out.
I entered the store and immediately headed to the kids department. I was greeted by 2 very friendly young ladies that helped me exchange the clothes for something else. This was a quick and painless process and then I headed into the mall to grab a cup of coffee. When I returned I was stopped by a frantic women next to the men's department. She wanted me to know that she couldn’t find anyone to help her and she needs help looking for a suit for her son. I gave her the classic "Shit Eating Grin”....kind of like the one on the front page of this blog. Behind her was this thin meek fellow that didn't want to be here. I going out on a limb here but I think he wanted to be home playing World of War Craft or some other video game. So I looked at her and her son and told them to come with me I would assist them. She was going on and on about her son being honored for some type of award and all the nonsense he had to go through to get it. OK....first suit for junior....and I hope he moves far way to college. Mom is a nice lady but I suspect that junior has been groomed to be one of those over achievers. I love to be there when he has his first beer. Sorry....I digress...back to the story.
There was another sales person in the suit area very focused on helping a client. We didn’t even get a glance as we entered the department. I've purchased several suits to date so I new the whole process. I asked him how tall he was, and pants size. I looked at junior and asked him what type of suit he was looking for.....junior looked at me as if I asked him to spell a word, that he couldn't spell, at his last spelling bee. Mom chimes in with her 2 cents about something that will make her son look handsome. I almost pissed myself and I said "I sure your son will look handsome in any of these suits". He wasn't a bad looking kid just a little out of his element. So I grabbed 3 suits (I liked) off the rack and helped junior into the jackets of each one to see how it looked. As he put on each suit I gave them a little run down on the maker and quality of the suit. The good news is that all the suits offered at Nordstrom’s are of a high quality. I didn't want all of you to think me trying to sell them a bad product. I would have purchased any of the three suits I recommended. The jackets all fit fine and needed to be taken in just a little on the sleeves. Mom asked me some stupid questions like....will we help tailor the suit? I can see she has shopped here for suits before....not!!! He also tried on the pants and I helped him cuff them so he didn't trip to and from the dressing room. Mom couldn't make up her mind between a nice three button gray and white pinstripe suit and a three button black and gray pinstriped suit. Since she couldn't make up her mind I placed both suits on one of their flat tables and selected 6 ties and a couple standard white Nordstrom shirts. She ended up going with 2 suits, 3 ties and 2 white shirts. Then I asked them if he had a pair of shoes to go with the suit. She said NO, of course, and then asked me for my recommendation. I told to go with black and leather based shoe and gave her a couple local store names that have reasonable prices. Finally I noticed another clerk behind the check out counter. I walked over to the clerk and asked his name. He replied.... with almost a question... Gus? I walked Gus over to Mom and Junior and introduced them. At this point everyone looked a bit confused so I told everyone I needed to leave for another meeting. I told Gus that Junior needed his suits fitted by the tailor and told his Mom that her son was going to be the most handsome man in the room on his special day. She thanked me for my help and followed Gus and Junior to the fitting area. I grabbed what was left of my coffee and head to the parking garage. I smiled from ear to ear.....why....I don't know...maybe I was happy helping Mom and Junior out....or a little giddy knowing that Gus would soon realize I wasn't an employee. I'm sure he won't be to upset since he will get credit for the sale. That was a great lunch!!! So what did I learn....if I end up sucking at sell financial product....I can sell suits...suits at Nordstrom’s.....or other stuff at Victoria Secret?